“Claire House helped me to carry on and keep our memories alive.”
Lynsay and her husband Dan were thrilled when they found out they were having another baby. Sadly things all changed after their little boy was born at 24weeks.
Here, Lynsay shares their story and how Claire House were there for them then and continue to be now.
“My pregnancy with Noah with very difficult, I was ill most of the time and couldn’t work,” shares Lynsay.
“The hospital picked up that he had a number of conditions but they never thought I would go into labour early.
“At 21 weeks, they offered us Claire House. I just got overwhelmed and thought “I don’t need Claire House support”. At that point I couldn’t accept there might be a problem with Noah.”
When she was 24weeks pregnant, Lynsay went into labour. Noah was born four days later.
“For a 24-week baby he was doing great and because of that I was in a complete state of denial. I just thought he was going to be fine. I couldn’t hear anything else.
“The first week Noah was doing really well. The hospital even told us ‘we won’t be taking things day-by-day, instead we will be thinking week-by-week.’”
It was during this point, the family met Paula, one of the nurses from Claire House.
“Paula was wonderful. She came in and did all the memory making with Noah, getting his hand and foot prints.”
During this time, Lynsay and Dan got into a routine with being there for Noah and their eldest son Jacob.
“The first time Jacob met Noah, he just wasn’t fazed by all the buzzers and stuff. He just came in and was like “Is he in there? In that space ship?”
“This was the most together I was during the whole time, I just switched onto being I am Jacob’s mum now as well.”
When Noah was eight days old, he sadly took a turn.
“When we arrived at the hospital that morning, the consultant told us, ‘We just don’t know how this is going to go.’
“I was in a complete state of shock. That was the point that Paula came in. She really helped to calm me down and talked me through to help me to understand.”
Over the next seven days, Noah continued to go up and down. Throughout this time, Paula was there for the family.
“I just don’t know what we would have done without Paula. If she wasn’t in the hospital, she was on the phone checking up on us, always letting us know she was there.
“Everything kept going up and down but then it all changed.
“Noah couldn’t control his blood pressure and his organs were beginning to stop working. The hospital tried everything they could. It was then that the consultants and Paula told us he wouldn’t last long.”
Noah died when he was 15 days old.
“After Noah died, Paula explained our options and we chose to come to Claire House and use one of the Butterfly Suites there,” says Lynsay.
“The main thing for me was that Jacob could be there with us. That was the good thing about coming to Claire House. We could be with Jacob but then the team at Claire House would take him painting and he would go and play with the other children, so we could be with Noah.
“Jacob didn’t think anything of the beeps or the wheelchairs, he just made little friends.”
During this time, Lynsay and Dan’s family were also able to come and be there for them, see Noah and play with Jacob.
“The team at Claire House were amazing. The Butterfly team helped us to plan the funeral, something I don’t think I would have been able to do at home.
“They even call me now, around Mother’s Day, Noah’s birthday, his anniversary, any holiday or celebratory day, they will call to see how we are.
“I got to have holistic treatments with Kate and Jane in the Complementary Therapies team, who are just fantastic.
“While we were in the hospice, I also met Frankie from the Counselling team. She has been really great, then and now. To begin with, she talked to us as I was concerned about whether I was saying things right to Jacob.
“She gave me advice and some books to read with him. She continues to help me so much today.”
Since Noah’s passing, the family have continued to be supported by Claire House.
“We started coming to the Butterfly Babies group the month after we lost Noah. It is a nice group of people who are now my friends. I couldn’t live without them now.
“Coming through a horrific time, they are just people who get it. Without Claire House, I wouldn’t have that.”
The family have wanted to give back to the hospice and have held or taken part in numerous fundraising activities.
“Claire House helped me to carry on and I want to help the hospice to be there for more families like ours. We’ve held a Family Fun Day on Noah’s due date, we have run the Claire Bear 3k, held a Gala on his first birthday and Dan and I have also run a 10k.
“I will do anything to give back and help keep Noah’s memory alive.”